Hope
by ChibiQuatre
Summary: konnichiwa! gomen nasai, i've been out of commission for a while...anyhoo, i wrote lotsa ficcies, but, no time to upload them all -_- so here's 1 i actually DID upload; it's a TB/QW fic (*beep beep*shounen ai warning), sweet and sappy, just da way i like


# Hope

by ChibiQuatre  (6/30/00)   
  


Yet another GW disclaimer: well, do you all REALLY want me to write a disclaimer?! We all know that I don't own GW (though God KNOWS I wish I did!). The GW boyz r'nt mine, never were, never will b. They are owned by their respective creators; Sunrise, There...happy!!! ((oh, and any trouble translating the japanese, I'll b happy to help!))

  
  


*NOTE: sorry minna, but this is another yaoi, so those of u against m/m relationships, pleez leave now. i don't want flames...i really don't deserve them, do i? (don't answer that ^^*) if u haven't already figured it out, it's a Quatre/Trowa fic. what else could it b? cuz having _read_ my other fics, u'd know that they're my fav. yaoi couple! ^_~ so pleez enjoy, and don't 4get 2 rate n review!

* * *

  
  


The rain pattered roughly on the window pane.

  


Rain was very rare in the deserts of past Saudi Arabia. When it rained, it poured because the periods following it were usually filled with months and months of dry, arid, sandy heat.

  


Outside, the sky was dark and gray, revealing no trace of the bright sunlight that should have been seen during the midday. It had rained heavily all through yesterday.

  


I sighed. 

  


Usually, when it rained, I loved to run around in the stuff. It was cool and refreshing. Better yet, it was natural. I had a pool, but it was manmade, not hardly the same as Mother Nature, showering the Earth with her crystal droplets, cooling her lands and her peoples. 

  


_Why did I have to be cooped up in this stuffy hospital?_

  


It was my fault, after all. I should have been more careful during the attack. I was paying too much attention to my thoughts; I had been drifting into my daydreams, zoning out at the most crucial moment in our attack. It was my fault that HeavyArms and Sandrock were damaged so. It was my fault that Trowa was forced to defend me, and my fault that we failed the mission. 

  


It was even more my fault that I was in the hospital.

  


I sighed and placed my aching arm on my stomach, ignoring the sharp muscle spasms that rippled through my shoulder.

  


After a few more minutes of staring despairedly into the brightening sky, I looked towards the phone lying beside me on the table.

  


I was waiting for a phone call.

  


From who? From _him_ of course!

  


After he finished another mission, he had promised to call me.

  


I remembered, I had very been worried. "Don't get hurt, Trowa," I had nagged at him after he made his promise. He had been slightly surprised that I requested he call me. All he ever did was smile at my nervousness. He probably thought it was cute.

  


So he had left a day ago. I was worrying too much; I couldn't finish my meals and I could hardly sleep. It had taken two nurses and a shot of sedative to get me calmed.

  


_I shouldn't do this. He's a guy; this is wrong. What would he see in me anyways?_

  


Suddenly, the phone rang. It snapped me out of my reverie.

  


I picked it up hastily. "Moshi," I said.

  


"Hiya, Quat-man! How ya doin?" the cheerful voice asked.

  


My face fell. It wasn't Trowa at all. "Hi Duo." I could almost see his smile on the other line. "I'm okay I guess."

  


"That's good to hear," he said. "Well, the guys wanna say hi, dont'cha?" From the background, I could hear the faint sounds of a scuffle. When they stopped, I heard a curt, "Hn" from Heero before Wufei came on, muttering an almost inaudible "Kon'chiwa" at me. I laughed.

  


Duo was back. "Eh, sorry Q. The others, they aren't too sociable right now. Or ever, for that matter." He laughed. Then his tone grew serious. "How was the mission, Quatre? Heero told me it didn't go well. What happened?"

  


I was still adjusting to Duo's sudden mood change. "Uh, well, we got to the base -- I wasn't paying attention -- and we were attacked by OZ."

  


"Is that it?" asked Duo increduously. Boy, could he make one feel useful or what?

  


"Well, it would've gone well, but I kind of spoiled Trowa's plan."

  


"Oh. Well, you should be more careful, Quat-man. I mean, what was so important that you would jeopardize the mission?"

  


I blushed. He took my pause as admittance of a secret. "What is it Quatre?" he chuckled. When I still didn't answer, he said, "Comon, you can tell me."

  


"Promise not to tell anyone?" I could almost see his nod. "Okay," I continued, then stopped. Did I really want to tell Duo about _us_?

  


I heard a sigh on the other line. "Q, I know you were thinking about him."  


"N-nani?" I asked. 

  


He laughed loudly. I heard Heero curse from behind him. "I'm not as stupid as I look, Quat-man. I can see it."

  


"Demo, demo..."

  


"Don't worry, I won't tell. I don't think the others know."

  


This time, I sighed. "But," Duo replied, "You really should pay more attention during your missions. Something really bad could've happened."

  


"I know," I said softly, shuddering at the thought of the Gundam HeavyArms, exploding from the self-detonation device. "Do you really think he, you know...do you think we have a chance?"

  


"I know you do, Quatre. I'm sure of it."

  


"But how do you really know Duo?"

  


"Well," he said thoughtfully. "You get this feeling, I can't explain it. It comes from inside you. All you have to do is have a little faith and believe; anything can happen. It might sound corny, but listen to me. I have faith in you two. All you have to do is trust that things will work out. They will."

  


I smiled. "Arigatou, Duo-kun." Duo laughed, "Luck to ya both. Bye Quat-man!"

  


I hung up the empty phone line. By now, the sky was bright and clear again. Earth's weather was unpredictable, so unlike the climatic system of the colonies: another reason I enjoyed the Earth far better than the colonies.

  


With the clearing sky, I could feel myself cheering up. Not because the sun was coming out, mind you. It was because I felt something in my little heart.

  


Chotto uuchu no kokoro.

  


Everything would be alright. I was sure of it. I don't know why I even bother to doubt Trowa. He has better skills than I, and much better planning. He could take care of himself.

  


But it wasn't his fighting that I was worried about.

  


It was the promise.

  


* * *

  


It was late when I got home.

  


The morning rain had passed to fleeting sunshine in the afternoon, and finally all light had disappeared as the sun sank below the golden dunes and gave way to a chilly desert breeze.

  


I shivered and finished the adjustments on my Gundam. This last mission had gone flawlessly. I had corrected the mistakes that my partner and I had made a few days ago.

  


I frowned. Quatre was attentive till that point, but he had suddenly been caught up in a daydream, a fantasy it seemed. His eyes had been unblinking, and he was even smiling, so I knew that he hadn't seen the dozens of armies of mobile suits, pouring out of the carriers and preparing for a counterattack. 

  


I had to salvage the battle. The poor blond hadn't known what hit him. I held my own, but he was struggling with the suddenly overwhelming forces. I bailed us out after a few minutes of fighting. It was no use; my plan couldn't go according to scheduled. We had already lost valuable ground, and the surprise attack that was supposed to have been was no longer able to provide us with the valuable element of surprise. The only choices were to retreat or self-destruct.

  


And I couldn't self-destruct unless _my_ Quatre got away to safety first.

  


So the only choice left to us was retreat.

  


I had jarred my right arm in the midst of fighting. Quatre, trying to recover from the shock of the enemy's onslaught, had broken his arm and received a minor concussion. I had to convince him to go to the hospital with me. His dizziness had only slightly affected his landing as he abandoned his Gundam with mine near the edge of the desert.

  


It was a good thing I got him to the hospital. He was feeling faint and light-headed, courtesy of his concussion. The doctor also had to put a cast on his broken arm, and forced him to stay a few days in the medical unit to ensure safe healing.

  


I was forced to leave him there.

  


Besides, I had received another mission. It had gone smoothly. I had destroyed the base and sabotaged the operation that Quatre and I were supposed to have accomplished a day ago.

  


And now I was back.

  


I had to call Quatre. I promised the Arabian that I would come back safely. How his eyes glowed when I vowed to return!

  


He was so kawaii sometimes.

  


Now, I was debating with myself whether or not to visit the boy or call him.

  


* * *

  


When the nurse led me into his room, the blond was asleep. "Oh," she gasped.

  


Much to the nurse's annoyance, I wouldn't leave. "Sir," she said in a whiny voice, "You must let him rest."

  


"I will," I said patiently. "I don't intend to wake him. I just want to watch."

  


I caught the nurse by surprise. "Uh, o-okay," she stammered before stumbling out the door. It shut with a loud 'bang.'

  


I smiled, then walked to the farthest wall of the room and leaned over his bed. He was so quiet, just lying there. His forehead was bandaged and his arm was in a sling. The silence of the room was overpowering; the only audible sound was the soft noise of Quatre's breathing.

  


I looked at him, feeling my heart soften. He looked like an angel in his sleep. I was daydreaming. I shook my head. _This is what happened to Quatre on the battlefield. _Snapping myself out of my daydream, I looked around the room. 

  


It was a standard hospital room. The oppressive walls were a dull white and near the door, there were all sorts of medical equipment: IVs, emergency oxygen masks, and even a tray full of scissors, needles, and other various doctoring hodgepodge.

  


It must have been boring for Quatre to stay in here all day. It had been raining in the desert when I arrived; poor Quatre. He loved the rain. I pitied him not being able to revel in it.

  


I walked to the other side of the stuffy room and dragged a chair to his bedside. The legs squealed loudly as they were towed across the floor, making Quatre stir.

  


I sat down quietly, trying not to disturb the small blond any further. It didn't work. Quatre opened his eyes.

  


"Trowa!" he called as soon as he found my face. I smiled. 

  


He sat up, just managing without my help. Hiding the pain from his arm, he asked, "How is your shoulder?"

  


"Fine," I answered shortly. He was amazed to see me here. Strange. He must've thought I wouldn't come back. "How was the mission? Did everything go well?" the flow of questions continued.

  


"Hai, little one, everything went fine." Quatre smiled at my response.

  


Suddenly his smile widened. He blushed. "I thought you were going to call me."

  


"I'm here now. Why call." 

  


"Demo, you should have gone to sleep. The doctors, they won't let you rest here tonight. Not with the _patient_ so injured anyways." He sighed. "Sorry for messing up on our last mission. I should have been paying more attention."

  


"It's okay."

  


"No, it's not. I could have gotten us captured, or worse." His voice was getting softer and sadder.

  


_But it really was okay._ "You could have, but didn't."

  


He looked as if he was going to continue arguing, but the nurse came in. It was the same one who had taken me to visit Quatre in the first place. 

  


"I'm sorry," she said to me. She had such a tiny, whiny voice. "But you'll have to leave now. Only forty minutes for visitors."

  


I looked at the clock in the room. Forty minutes? Forty minutes had already passed?

  


I turned my head back towards Quatre. He looked just as stunned as I felt. "Demo, couldn't he just stay a little while longer?" he begged the nurse. His voice had gotten wobbly, and he looked at the lady with such sad eyes that she was forced to agree.

  


"Okay," she laughed. "Fine, he can stay. But just for a little while longer, you hear?" She glared right at me. I nodded stoically. 

  


She left after changing Quatre's pillow. The blond whole-heartedly objected, but she persisted. As soon as the nurse was gone, he quickly turned back to me. "Trowa, please, don't leave me."

  


"What?" I wasn't about to leave him. 

  


"This hospital is driving me crazy. Nothing to do all day but sit in this bed and stare at the whiteness. It's like I'm getting cabin fever." He sighed and settled back into his recently fluffed pillows. "It rained today," he said dejectedly.

  


I nodded, leaning my elbows on the side of the bed. "Ne, Quatre." He looked at me. "Would you really like me to stay here tonight?"

  


He smiled. "Hai! I would love you to stay here tonight, Trowa-kun!"

  


I stood up and turned away hastily, covering a slight blush. "Okay then," I muttered softly.

  


I felt his blue eyes locked on my back as I walked out of the room. As I reached the door, I turned once more to look at him. His eyes were big and wide, and he looked scared. I smiled at him, hoping to give him some comfort.

  


_Don't worry, little one. I'll come back._

  


* * *

  


I watched him, sadly, as he stood up, mumbled something quietly, and walked out the door.

  


As the door shut, I closed my eyes. He wasn't coming back. 

  


Duo was wrong.

  


What had the braided boy gotten me thinking? I was crazy to think that Trowa was even the slightest bit interested in me. I shouldn't have blurted it out; it was so obvious that I liked him. I was sure he could see it too, and now I've scared him away.

  


I lowered my head, certain that he wasn't coming back. .

  


I waited a few more empty minutes.

  


_Trowa wasn't coming back._

  


I felt something warm run down my cheek. Stupid Duo. He didn't know what he was talking about.

  


No. It wasn't Duo's fault. 

  


It was mine.

  


I had been so hopeful at what Duo said. That Trowa would love me back. 

  


That's all it was though: hope. Hope without evidence. 

  


It was always my fault.

  


The warm liquid continued to run down my face. I couldn't stop it, no matter how hard I tried.

  


All I could feel was the stabbing pain of betrayal.

  


And the even worse pain piercing my eyes, flowing down my face, and finally dropping like a thousand needles onto my lifeless hand, still laying on my stomach.

  


* * *

  


I returned approximately twenty minutes later.

  


It had taken time, but I had finally gotten through to the nurse.

  


I smiled. She wasn't so tough after all.

  


I had to convince her to let me stay with Quatre overnight, one way or another.

  


She was a stubborn girl; I had to reassure her time and time again that I wouldn't do anything to disturb the boy. But still she wouldn't listen. All my pleading and beseeching was getting me nowhere; and Gundam pilots hate to beg. So I dragged her and Quatre's doctor into the end of the hallway, and using my threatening-Gundam-pilot mask, I managed to sound calm and ominous at the same time.

  


And somehow or other, they consented to my presence. Nervously, I'm sure.

  


The door slid open quietly. I thought that Quatre might have fallen asleep. I had cheered him, but he still hadn't seemed his happy self when I came to visit. Something else was bothering the blond.

  


I peeked my head in, careful not to disturb him. I was taken aback.

  


He was still lying on his side, curled up in a ball... but crying??

  


I rushed into the room hurriedly. "Quatre!" I said at his side. He looked up at me, eyes wide, revealing none of the physical pain that I thought he had been sobbing over. What I saw in his deep blue sapphires was a strong and enamoring emotional pain. "Are you okay?"

  


Quickly, he straightened his body out. Rubbing his face with his good arm, he sniffled, "Hai, I'm okay." Well, he looked okay. He was happier than when I last saw him, almost half an hour ago. 

  


What could have cheered his mood so quickly?

  


When I came back, he had been crying in anguish, and now he was smiling the biggest grin I had ever seen. So big, in fact, that it foreshadowed a laugh.

  


I was right; the next minute, Quatre had started laughing. It was fun to just watch him. It was also fun to join in.

  


I laughed with the boy.

  


Perhaps not as loudly, or as jovially, but I laughed nonetheless.

  


"Trowa," he said carefully. I acknowledged him with a glance.

  


He still had the smile plastered on his face. "I'm glad you came back, Trowa."

  


Again, I was taken aback by his mannerisms. I had promised... "Of course I came back. 

But I had to ask to stay. You do want me to stay, right?"   


He blinked his wide eyes at me. "You...you can stay?"

  


I smiled. "Hai. Whatever you wish, Quatre-kun."

  


My reply was greeted by his sparkling eyes. I was sitting by his bed again, leaning my elbows on the bedside. Suddenly, Quatre jumped on me, nearly choking me in a tight hug with his good arm.

  


"Arigatou!" he said, making no attempt at containing his joy.

  


I laughed again, louder this time so that Quatre could hear it and feel it in his heart: my happiness. I could certainly feel _his_ cheerfulness radiating through my soul. 

  


Staying would make me equally glad.

  


Quatre tried to withdraw from the embrace. No doubt, he thought it awkward. It had started as an impulsive movement, and it had fully developed into an embarrassing situation.

  


"No, this feels right. This is the way it's meant to be," I whispered against the shoulder of his hospital gown. He nodded against me and snuggled closer, wiggling so that he was no longer embracing me.

  


I was embracing him.

  
  
~OWARI~   


* * *

  


what was the point of that fic u might b asking? well, i don't know LOL i wrote it 4 gw-fanfiction's sake, gotta problem wit dat? ^_~ well, tell me whatcha think (it sux i no) it didn't come out the way i wanted it 2. oh well. better luck next time i guess. til then, oyasumi n ja-ne!!

  


ChibiQuatre @ tigerlily6c@aol.com

  
  


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